There will be days my friend…

While going through my emails last week, one caught my eye. The title was “I’ve been struggling’, the email went onto explain the author has been processing heavy emotions; fear, anxiety, and overwhelm over the past few days. The reason it caught my eye is because I have been struggling and I’ve felt really unwell. I can admit that now.

I started thinking about this and how I appreciated her very honest email.

I can struggle to talk openly, I’m articulate but I can’t always express how I feel when I’m in the thick of it. Sometimes I don’t want to show my vulnerability. Sometimes I just don’t have words, just tears.

I have always found it much easier to write about my feelings, I think it gives me chance to think deeply and reflect.

Sometimes I think too much.

When I started this blog I felt very exposed and again worried what others would think. If anyone would like my writing? What would I write about.

I listed to my inner voice and thought about it a bit more (I have mercury in Taurus, I ponder when making decisions).

I started writing, I made my blog public and I pressed send. Out it went into the internet for all to read, if they so desired. I did feel a sense of relief and I also felt proud that I had pushed through this fear. I also thought why the f&ck not, it brings me joy. I can share my knowledge, part of my journey, I found my love of writing again.

After my nervous system has settled and the fear response has subsided I move forward slowly, slowly, my mum told me I should be proud of this. I am.

For me, writing and being creative, listening to my intuition is important. We may ignore our intuition and feel bad afterwards. I was told, say thank you to your intuition, and listen in the future. Learn to trust, listen to the fear.

I am proud.

When you are vulnerable, it lifts the shadow of shame and guilt. You shine a light on your true strength. Where the light shines, healing takes place.

I’ve been carrying these little monkey’s on my back and their little brother, negative dialogue. You can feel less alone, especially if someone says they experienced the same. Equally you can help someone else feel less alone too.

It has been crippling recently, and my usual toolbox of meditation and yoga hasn’t been helping. I’m learning real strength lies in vulnerability and opening up. This doesn’t equate to telling someone everything, this isn’t me and it’s not fair on that person. It can simply begin with me saying “I don’t feel well”.

Other pieces of wisdom I’ve learnt are surrender and trust. They equate to many areas and it’s not an easy process but neither is denying. A lovely blog I found last week is the Graceful Addict, she wrote a lovely post about Surrender . Take a look if you feel drawn.

This written piece is by Donna Ashworth, she explains when your in the thick of it you can’t see the clearing. This piece helps you realise there always is a clearing and your not alone.

There will be days

There will be days, my friend…

When you feel like you just can’t go on. Just keep swimming. Breathe in and breathe out and wait for the light of a new day to dawn.

There will be days, my friend…

When nothing seems to be making sense. It’s not supposed to. Clear your mind and open your heart, the answers will come in time.

There will be days, my friend…

When the pain rises up and engulfs you. Be kind to yourself. Lay low and let the tears flow like a river, release, open the floodgates, let it out.

There will be days, my friend…

When it feels like the whole world is against you. When it feels like you cannot do right for doing wrong. Just sit it out. Tomorrow is a new day and these feelings will pass. I promise.

You see, life is all things, from one day to the next. It is beautiful at times, wondrous, amazing and joyful – then it is awful, miserable and heart-breaking. And the cycle goes around. It is as it should be. Everything is as it should be and you, you will be okay.

Have faith.

Keep hope in your heart. Tomorrow is a new day.

What do you do when you feel vulnerable?

What do you do when you have fear? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

JP X

Published by Janine Petty

Hi I’m Janine I make hand poured soy wax candles, I’m a reiki healer, vibe queen, card reader and all round spiritual entrepreneur. Graves disease fighter, depression and anxiety sufferer.

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